


Love and Chaos

by collectingnames



Series: Fjorclay Week [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fake Dating, M/M, Oblivious, Pining, Shenanigans, fjorclay, fjorclay week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23732440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collectingnames/pseuds/collectingnames
Summary: Having that smile turned at him fills him with a warm sense of contentment, that only goes so far before he reminds himself again that this isn’t real.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Series: Fjorclay Week [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1710829
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	Love and Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> This was gonna be very dramatic and angsty but this isn't a trope I'm super familiar with writing and I kept getting ideas for farce so that's how we got here. At a certain point, I had a 'hey, wouldn't it be wild if?' moment and just went for it.

“Hey there,” a familiar voice approaching from behind says, the person it belongs to tips his head back and puts a fleeting kiss to his lips.

He’s disguised, but he’s Caduceus. His eyes immediately pick out the little signs that it’s him underneath the thin layer of illusion. It’s strange, having Caduceus’s voice coming out of the goliath illusion, his brain keeps trying to figure out what happened to his nose. That somewhat bovine firbolg nose is such a distinct feature it feels wrong to see him without it. Deciding on their respective illusions took a near ridiculous amount of time. It was mostly just trying to find a balance between their actual builds and being extremely different from their typical appearance. Any illusory disguise would be lackluster, to say the least if the moment anyone went to shake a hand or pat one of them on the shoulder and it just passed through empty air. So the person he’s smiling up at is a scrawny goliath and the person he’s smiling back down at is a tall half-elf. Having that smile turned at him fills him with a warm sense of contentment, that only goes so far before he reminds himself again that this isn’t real.

_A Week Prior_

“He’s just being a bit,” Marion considers her next words carefully, “odd, as of late.”

“Do you want us to help with that?” Yasha asks.

“The Chateau has security, it’s okay,” she reassures them all but it’s clear that her response isn’t satisfactory, especially to Jester.

“But he hasn’t done anything, so your security cannot take any action yet,” Caleb adds on, his face deathly serious.

“He is just strange, he’s done nothing to make me so concerned as you are,” she tries to assuage the growing tension.

Jester crosses her arms, “Hmmmmm okay, if you feel safe but the moment he does **_anything_ **we’re going to make him into mush.”

Marion appears clearly concerned by that prospect, “Of course. I will be sure to let you know.”

That night in their rooms at the Chateau they’re all just sitting around, chatting. There’s some discussion about maybe going to the beach tomorrow. Somebody suggests teaching Luc how to swim which makes Veth squirm. It’s all going fine, just light conversation among friends.

Until Beau jokes, “Man, you two are like an old married couple.”

The chatter dies down. Fjord firmly avoids Caduceus’s gaze as everyone looks back and forth between each other. 

"It won't work," Fjord blurts.

"We don't even have a plan yet," Beau shoots back.

"Whatever you're planning, it won't work," he insists.

Jester's eyes light up as she starts excitedly bobbing up and down, " _It's perfect!_ You two already act like an old married couple! You can just disguise yourselves and pretend to be a couple on a date at the Chateau, there watching my mamma of course. And then you can just keep an eye on him from the crowd."

"I don't know," Yasha sounds hesitant. 

Jester just barrels on, "And then! And then after the show! You follow him out and like, corner him in an alleyway or something and scare him out of ever ever ever coming to the Chateau again."

"The base idea isn't that bad," Caleb muses. The way his eyes dart around echoes how his brain rapidly switched gears into refining Jester's hair-brained scheme.

“Why does it have to be a fake date?” Veth asks, “Couldn’t we just put them on security or something?”

“I haven’t agreed to anything yet!” Fjord insists.

“There are different people in the crowd each night, it would be easier to hide in a big group of people than trying to stand inconspicuously against the wall,” Caleb points out.

“Do you not want to go on a date?” Caduceus asks and it halts him in his tracks.

Of course. Of course, he wants to go on a date with Caduceus. He wouldn’t care if it was anything as meager as just five minutes sitting on the end of the pier, so long as it’s just him and Caduceus. Not that he’s actually managed to tell him anything yet. He _almost_ told him when he gave him the medallion of the Wildmother’s symbol. Every part of him had screeched to move his mouth and just spit it out but he’d been so awed and dumbfounded he hadn’t been able to do much more than thanking him. It almost slipped out without thinking about it when he woke up on the deck of the _Balleater,_ soaked through with rain and blood and Caduceus’s panicked face hovering over him.

“Besides, the last time we all got involved with someone who was creeping on Jester’s mom we became pirates. We'll probably end up in a fucking cult or some shit if all of us get our noses in this shit again,” Beau breaks the silence.

_Present_

The two of them have a table near the back where they can watch the whole crowd, keeping a careful eye out for the man in question. He shows up maybe half an hour in, as the opening act is wrapping up, taking up a spot at a table in the front row and to the far right. The first thing Fjord notices is the elaborately embroidered cloak he’s wearing, almost reminding him of Molly’s coat. He can’t make out much of his face from this angle but a curl of red hair spills out from the hood.

A server comes over to their table, “Wine, sirs?”

“No thank you,” Fjord waves him off and goes back to casually staring at the finely dressed man.

Caduceus waits for him to walk off before talking, “Are you having a good time?”

“Yeah,” he casually munches on the little plate of cheese and crackers.

Caduceus puts an arm around his shoulders, “I’ve been looking forward to this.”

He knows Caduceus is just playing a character but he keeps letting that pretense slip and thinks he’s just saying it as himself. He clears his throat, “I think she’s about to come down.”

Almost as if on queue the lights dim and the light chatter of the crowd dies. He’s heard Marion perform once or twice before but she’s still a tour de force. Trying to keep an eye out on the man gets increasingly harder, the spotlight following Marion as she moves across the stage is particularly distracting. What proves to be _even more_ distracting is Caduceus. He seems to be trying really hard to sell their act of a couple on a date. From what he understands, Caduceus isn’t terribly experienced but he seems to be under the impression that couples in public are very casually touchy. It doesn’t bother him so much as it strikes him as odd.

As expected, Marion Lavorre is a stunning performer and tonight is no different. The delicate silver and gold chains draped from her horns gleam under the light and draw the eye to her face. This song is familiar like perhaps he’s heard the tune before but he can’t remember where he would have heard it before. The lyrics feel...knowing, a little too appropriate for his situation. Something that sounds happy by the tune though he keeps picking up snippets of lyrics about yearning for someone. But luckily the song is blissfully short and he isn’t forced to dwell on it.

Caduceus whispers, “I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“Ask me what?” He whispers back, eyes leaving the man.

“Do you think we might have to do this again? If we can’t get him tonight?” He asks.

Fjord impulsively seizes up and chokes on his drink, he forces himself back in order, swallows, “Sorry, wrong pipe. Uh, yeah, I suppose so.”

Shock lingers on Caduceus’s face as he just sort of nods and goes back to enjoying the show. Fjord kicks himself for being a bad date and then promptly kicks himself again for letting himself forget that it **isn’t** a date. It’s just going to make this whole thing even more excruciating than it already is if he can’t focus on why he’s actually here. Though he’s still supposed to _act_ like he’s on a date and he doesn’t want Caduceus to think that he’s a bad date. He’s being… sweet and attentive and-. No, no, now is not the time.

“I don’t know, I don’t think it would be too bad if we had to do this again, it’s really nice here,” Caduceus murmurs.

“Yeah,” he goes back to putting all of his focus on keeping an eye out on the man.

Caduceus changes the subject, “Have you been on a lot of dates?”

“No, not many, never really had anything serious long-term,” he admits.

“Were they any good?”

One particular incident crosses his mind, “There’s room for improvement.”

“What-?” He tries to keep up the conversation.

“Caduceus,” he hisses under his breath, “I don’t think now is the right time for this.”

He clears his throat and shamefacedly goes back to watching the performance, “Right.”

Fuck. This is really going to be the only date he ever gets with Caduceus, isn’t it? Well, it certainly helps their cover if he reciprocates, right? He takes one of Caduceus’s hands and strokes across his knuckles with his thumb, maintaining his gaze on the task at hand. In turn, Caduceus leans against him, head resting on top of his own and well, so long as he doesn’t make too much of it once this is all over he can fool himself just for a little while. He’s never had any trouble with lying before anyway.

With the show’s end and the gradual brightening of the lights once Marion’s departed the main room comes preparing himself to mentally throw away the better part of this evening. The man hasn’t done anything that he noticed but the point isn’t so much to punish him for any one specific action as it is to scare him off before he actually does anything. The man lifts his finely embroidered cloak from where it’s been resting on the back of his chair and slips it on as he sets to leave. With a quickly whispered ‘come on’ he takes Caduceus’s hand again as they go to follow their mark.

If this man lives in Nicodranas it’s not in a part either of them is even passingly familiar with. His path is long and meandering, purposefully obtuse. The only way they can manage to keep an eye on him is the beaded embroidery of his cloak catching the lantern-light. Twenty minutes of following from a distance and they still seem no closer to any conceivable destination. Of course, he could know that he’s being followed. He turns his gaze up to Caduceus in a silent question. He gets a nod in response.

Fjord loudly clears his throat, “Excuse me, sir?”

The man startles and glances at the two of them over his shoulder before breaking into an all-out sprint.

“Hey! Get back here!” Fjord gives chase.

The man doesn’t appear particularly athletic but his sprinting pace appears effortless. Even with his morning training with Beau after a while he can feel his pulse pounding in his neck. And his knees have a few complaints. Caduceus’s longer gait is helping some but not by much. His panting louder and heavier than his own as they try to match pace. As the man makes a break for a nearby alley Caduceus stops in his tracks and points at the back of his head.

Fjord can _feel_ the magic wash over him and Caduceus cries out, “STOP!”

His head twitches, trying to fight off the command but fails as he loses control of his own movement. But it doesn’t last long. Fjord forces himself to sprint as fast as his body will allow and catches him by a fistful of clothing right as the spell begins to break. He shoves the man against the wall, pinning him there with a forearm and does his best to quietly catch his breath while he waits for Caduceus to catch up.

Now just the three of them in the alley, Fjord pitches his voice dangerously low, “We heard you’ve been causing trouble.”

He chuckles nervously but what strikes him is how it sounds like he’s reciting a script, “Have I?”

“Yes, and it’s in your best interest to keep your distance from the Lavish Chateau,” Caduceus’s voice sounds like the very best threat.

He puts his hands up in mock surrender, “Looks like you’ve caught me, gentlemen.”

He exchanges a confused look with Caduceus over his shoulder, “Yes?”

With a flourish of his hand, a pulse of magic washes over them, feeling like steel wool against his skin. The act seems gone now, the man’s voice no longer stilted and measured, “Ahh, it’s always good seeing Jester’s friends.”

“What?” he snaps down to look at himself and Caleb’s earlier casting of Seeming has disappeared, leaving him as his usual self, “How do you know Jester?”

Caduceus, “Fjord…”

Without warning the man changes shape. And Fjord kicks himself for at least the third time tonight. The Traveler, of fucking course it’s the Traveler. How could he mistake the lion’s mane of red hair and exaggerated elven features for anyone else? He grins a shit-eating grin and waves at Caduceus who half-heartedly waves back. The Traveler’s smug gaze fixes back onto him. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s Jester’s god and doing so might lead to some consequences for her he would have punched him square in the face by now. He effortlessly removes Fjord’s arm from his chest and casually leans back against the wall, crossing his arms behind his head.

“What are you doing here?” Fjord can’t quite find it in himself to be angry at whatever response he’s about to get.

Though what he doesn’t expect to hear is, “Jester asked me to come.”

“What? Jester asked you to creep on her mom?”

The curl of his lips is nearly insulted, “No. Although I must applaud Marion for her performance, she is quite the actress.”

“Traveller?” Caduceus starts.

“Yes?” He looks up at him attentively.

“What did Jester ask you to do?” He asks with the utmost seriousness.

The Traveler clears his throat and his voice is a perfect copy of Jester's, “Ugh, TrAvel _er,_ Fjord is being all stupid and he’s just sitting there! Pining or whatever! And oh boy! Caduceus? Oh, believe me, he’s got it b ** _AD._ **They just need to like, smooch already.”

Fjord blushes so hard his face could pass for a copper piece. Of course. This was a fucking setup.

“Although if we’re getting to the point, _my job_ ,” he punctuates it with a hand to his chest, “was to make sure the two of you spent some time together away from the others. Marion was the one to suggest the actual scenario.”

“Did you have a meeting?!” A confusing mixture of embarrassment, anger, and bafflement consumes him.

“Oh yes, it was lovely. To be honest, it didn’t take much to convince me, Jester was so insistent and it already sounded like a perfect opportunity for a little chaos. And if we were lucky there would be a little nugget of altruism in helping you two finally talk to each other,” The Traveler gives the two of them each a quick pat on the shoulder before disappearing in a poof of mist that smells slightly of petrichor and freshly cut grass.

Fjord hides his face in his hands. He was set up. Of course, he was set up. He fell for it hook, line, and sinker and wasted his entire evening being a rude not-date and staking out a not-threat.

“Fjord?” Caduceus’s voice is heavy with worry.

He awkwardly stands there with his hands on his hips and keeps his gaze fixed directly on the sky overhead, his embarrassment not quite quenched enough to look Caduceus in the eye, “Well, um, I think we need to have a word with Jester. But after that, I suppose, I think we might have to do this again.”

Caduceus bursts into raucous laughter, “Yeah, I suppose we do.”

  
  
  



End file.
